When you go to work you can call it your own. You get a lunch break(all by yourself if you choose), private bathroom breaks, weekends, holidays and vacations. Why don't stay at home moms get that? This all sounds so glorious but on my two days last week that I spent 8-5 at 'the office', I missed my boys. Not only that, when I got home I didn't go for a run. How could I leave when I haven't seen my babies ALL day? I would miss them even more and the guilt would be too much.
So now I have to reevaluate. What do I really want to do with my life professionally? Well, everything! I want to teach cycle classes, continue my Fitneighbor business, increase my knowledge in triathlon coaching and become a certified Crossfit Coach. Is that too much? What triathlon has taught me is that the variety in cross training is what keeps it interesting for me. I want to carry that over into my career. In one day of work, I want to take people through gut wrenching workouts and meet with clients to discuss their triathlon goals. I want to teach a cycle class and then design workouts to challenge my boot campers. I also want to have time to educate myself in all of these areas. Finally, I want the time to challenge my own body, whether it is to become stronger or to be able to run farther, I need to walk the walk.
So last week I had an Endurance Coach training through Lifetime Fitness. I was the triathlon coach last year at Eagan and enjoyed every minute of it. My clients had great seasons and that was very rewarding. While I definitely helped all my participants, I feel that I could definitely benefit from some additional training. Lifetime has given me this great opportunity to work with Troy Jacobson (the Spinervals dude) to do just that. Here is where my professional life my take on a more productive turn.
Part of me is ready to put the boys in full day childcare a couple of days per week so that I can pursue my endeavors. Then the guilt begins to build. Everyone is always telling me that they are only small just once and I shouldn't miss a beat. And here lies the other issue....I don't have to work. Believe me, some days I wish I had to, that would make this decision a no brainer! SO, not sure how to close this post.....your thoughts? Parents of older children.....do you wish you would've had more time? Happy you worked? Readers without children feel free to respond!
9 comments:
I can understand your dilemma. I had to return to work full-time after the birth of my son and felt the guilt for a brief time. One of the best things about sending him to all day preschool is that he could be with other children his own age. Now he's in kindergarten and the transition from preschool to kindergarten was so easy.
I'm sure you'll hear from lots of other moms, and I'm interested in what they have to say.
They say the hardest decisions involve the choice between two good options. On one hand either thing you choose will be good. On the other hand, choosing one thing automatically means not choosing the other. As far as advice, I suck at giving it so I'll just say that I think either way great things will happen for you! Also - I can totally sympathize. Have 3 wee ones and a partial career myself, it's hard to juggle no matter how you stack it!
Tough call. I don't think there are any
easy answers. But, I think you will find a way to meet your families needs and your own. For me, I have always worked, 8 weeks after trev was born til now and he's 11. When the kids were small, I was able to work part time and that was the BEST.
I think you do what you have to do and make that quality time with your family.
I think my kids just know that me working is just the way it is. I can't make all their school activities(during the work day) but i try to make the really important ones. BALANCE
You will figure it out.
Plus, I want you to become a Crossfit trainer so you can teach me. I love that website. I want to go!!
I love pull ups!!
I don't have kids but I work with a lot of people with young children. One of the attorneys I work with said "I don't think working full time makes me a bad mom... in fact, I think it makes me a BETTER mom." She says that she makes the time she has with her boys really count -- they do family things all the time.
I don't have kids yet but hope to in the next couple of years... so I'll check back with you then ;)
FWIW, also, my mom worked full time and I loved her for it... when my dad's business went bankrupt, we survived on her paycheck. She was (is!) a great role model and has shown me that if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life.
I HAD to respond to this one! Just started back to work full time (occasionally 25-35 hour weeks instead) and it has worked well. What's different is that before kids when I worked I was more anal and if something didn't get done by the end of day I would kill myself to accomplish it. Post kids - you realize that even if what you have to do at the moment is really imp it can wait. Plus, I find my tri workouts are a lot more focused and I am more productive. Limited time means now or never so I don't screw around. Downside is like this week when my daughter is home sick and you till need to work/etc. I say if you heart says yes - go for it!
Geez, I don't think I can help. But good luck working it all out! You sound amazing!!
I am so there with you sister. That said, you really do have to go with your gut/heart. I know full-time working moms who are GREAT moms and stay-at-home moms who... well, I wouldn't want to be their kids. So I agree, your *value* as a mom, isn't in how much actual time you spend with them. You have to live your best life and within that framework is how you can be a great mom (defined by you.) OK, I like what I just said. I need to make that apply to my own life!!
Hi, I followed your comment over from Mama Sweat. I am an athletic dreamer too. My thought is that you need to be challenged and happy as well. So, if it were me, I'd do the two days away. Either way, your children will adapt and be happy.
ok... I'm the no kid and two cent person. go for 2 days a week. it's not 0-full time... it's part time. Kids will probably like it too. Maybe there won't be the guilt you anticipate. You will be a greater roll model for the kids as well. it is not a selfish decision and I hope if you have guilt it will subside.
You rock Darcy, you have one life ot live. Jump... jump high and reach for the stars.
See you tomorrow night. xoxo - jeh
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