Before children (B.C.) my dogs were my children. They went everywhere with me. They ran with me and took road trips with me. It was even cheesy to the point I had a song that so appropriately conveyed my love for them. Yes, cheesy but at least it was a song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers so I am not a complete dork.
Then the boys came along. Running with a double jogger AND two dogs just wasn't manageable. Believe me, I tried it and just about everyone I passed made a comment like "boy, you got a lot to handle there young lady." Did I just say young lady? Anyways, taking the boys to the dog park was a bad idea and just the thought of getting the children strapped into their car seats and the dogs in the car was too much for me (we don't have an attached garage which would make this all so much easier).
For the past 5 years the dogs have been on the back burner. That doesn't mean that they didn't get love, it was just different. My children give them attention (not always the kind they want) and they certainly continued to receive love from Matt and me. About 6 weeks ago, I decided to get them back in shape and start including them in more of our family activites because our boys can actually play an active role.
About 4 weeks ago Gunnar's appetite was changing(he is the one with the pointy ears). He was losing weight and vision among other signs. At the vet this past Tuesday when the doc said, "I am extremely concerned for your pet's prognosis", I knew it wasn't good. The vet showed me how his eyes were bleeding internally and put my hands on all the sites of his lymphoma. He has maybe a week left with us. Of course this is hard on me. It sucks really and I am not sure I have ever seen Matt so sad. However, now we have a three and a five year old to face this. The three year old won't really get it, but my 5 year old is already sad. Not to mention our other dog Loki(floppy ears) who will be losing his life long friend.
I realize losing a pet is just a part of life and is inevitable when you fall in love with your pet. I think this time around I have realized that Gunnar has ultimately been MY responsibility. No, I don't feel guilty but I have raised this dog and when you feel that responsibility and something goes wrong, there is ultimately some self doubt. I can only hope I don't outlive my children. For those that have, my heart wrenches for you.
20 comments:
I am so sorry. Loss is so hard. i will keep you and you family in my thoughts and prayers during this hard time.
You and your kids will have great memories of their dogs forever. those pictures are great.
Oh man, I'm SO sad just reading this, so I can only imagine how you, Matt, Skylar and the kids feel.
Hang in there...I guess it's an opportunity to recall all the great memories and be appreciative of the life you have ahead. Life is indeed precious.
Skylar=Loki...don't ask :-)
Oh I am so sorry Darcy! Pets truly are a part of the family and it is heartbreaking to lose one, especially one who is so beloved. You are in my thoughts.
Hug and cherish what you have and the memories. Be greatful that you had a the "kids", pre kids.
Payton just turned 9 and I know we are running out of chapters with her too. I'm sorry for the days and sadness ahead.
Live Laugh and Love - xoxo jeh
So sorry to hear about your dog. Losing a pet is always so hard. Cherish the memories and hang in there.
So sorry to hear about this. I hope his passing goes okay for both you and the kids.
God, I'm SO sorry. We went through this recently (eek...almost a year ago) w/ our 'first baby' and it was awful. My kids were only 1.5 yo at the time, but they still talk / ask about our 'first baby' occasionally. I'm so so sorry!
Oh, that's SO SAD! I hope everything works out OK!
And regarding your Christmas sweater comment on my blog: I just found a christmas vest. It's red and plaid, and I don't think I'm going to wear anything under it. Pharmie found a "cat sweater" that we might dress up with some puffy-paint.
So sorry to hear this. Losing a pet is heartbreaking (we put our first 'fur baby' down last year - a 15 year old cat named Spunky). Take the time you need to grieve.
Thanks everybody for your kind words. Gunnar is still with us, much longer than we expected, so we are enjoying him while we can!
I can see why you couldn't talk about this the other night. I hope you're hanging in there and Gunnar isn't suffering. He was so lucky to have you for a dog mom!
Really REALLY Sorry Darcy. It sucks. You're story reminds me of Shawn and I losing Sid.
So so sorry.
DJH, Let's just say that everything you say about CY & KY is true. Even so, why do you even bother with them if they are as pathetic as you see them? I have had people in my life that have been cruel and I have just shut them out and moved on. You say life is good, I bet it could be a million times better if you did the same.
Hey Darc - I was thinking of you this week and about your dog. :( Hope you're doing ok..
Didn't exactly expect to see a psyscho post on your website. Wow. Someone needs to seek some professional help.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
Darcy someone gave me this poem after the loss of a pet and I loved it. The only fear I have now is that I have lost so many animals that I fear being trampled at that meeting time with all those babies.
Hey Darcy-
I'm getting a group together to do some DOME RUNNING on Tuesday at 6 pm. Interested?
Merry Christmas Darcy!!
Oh Darcy, I'm just reading this now.... I'm so sorry!
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